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Holiday Visits with Aging Parents: How to Start Conversations About Care

The holidays are a special time of year, bringing families who may not see each other often all under one roof. If you’re visiting long-distance aging parents or loved ones this season, you may feel a mix of emotions: gratitude for being together and a growing awareness that things have changed since your last visit. 

Those feelings are normal. While they can be uncomfortable, they can also open the door to important conversations about your loved one’s needs, wishes, and next steps for the future. 

Not sure where to start? Here are a few tips to guide the process: 

#1. Keep Calm and Stay Present
First and foremost, don’t approach the holidays with a mission to problem-solve. Try to stay in the moment and remember the holidays are about love, laughter, and togetherness. 

Approach the visit with a mindset of care and curiosity, not judgment. Ensuring your parent feels safe and comfortable will create space for honest conversations later. 

#2. Pay Attention to Patterns

During your visit, quietly take note of clues and patterns that could suggest your parent or loved one needs extra support. 

Mobility & Balance

  • Are they steady on their feet when walking?
  • Do they hold onto furniture or lean on walls for support?
  • Are they having trouble getting out of chairs or navigating stairs?

Meals & Nutrition

  • What’s inside the fridge and pantry?
  • Are they skipping meals?
  • Have they lost or gained weight?

Medication

  • Are their medications clearly labeled and organized?
  • Do they remember what they’re taking and when to take it?
  • Do they have any trouble getting to the pharmacy?

Mood & Engagement

  • Do they seem less talkative, withdrawn, or forgetful?
  • Have they lost interest in hobbies or activities they once enjoyed?
  • Ask about their friends. Do they call or visit regularly?
  • Do they mention feeling lonely or “stuck at home”?

Home Safety

  • Are they keeping up with daily and weekly chores?
  • Do you notice home safety hazards, such as loose rugs or poor lighting?
  • Is landscaping being handled safely outside?

Hygiene and Grooming

  • Are they wearing clean, season-appropriate clothing? 
  • Do they need help with grooming, such as brushing their hair, trimming fingernails, or shaving?
  • Are they keeping up with personal hygiene? A noticeable change could indicate mobility issues, memory impairment, or even fear of slipping in the bathroom. 
#3. Offer Help Respectfully

If you do notice something, resist the urge to jump in and fix everything right away. Gently share your concerns and offer ideas to tackle them together, like: 

  • “Want to go grocery shopping together while I’m here?”
  • “Would it help if we reorganized the pantry so things are easier to reach?”
  • “Here, I got you a pill organizer to help with your medications.”
  • “How about we install a grab bar in your bathroom to make things safer?”

What if your parent resists your help? Don’t push them. Give them time to warm up to change. You can always revisit the topic later after you’ve had more time together. 

It also helps to get siblings or other close family members on the same page. When everyone approaches the conversation with care, it can feel less overwhelming for your parent and more like a shared plan.

#4. Starting the Conversation

Talking about “what’s next” can feel like a huge emotional undertaking for both of you. The key is to keep it focused on your parents’ needs and wishes. Ask them: 

  • “Are you still happy living at home?”
  • “What do you wish was easier about your day-to-day?”
  • “How would it feel if you had friends close by?”
  • “If you needed a little extra support, what would you want that to look like?”
  • “What’s most important to you in the next few years?”

Remember, these aren’t one-time questions. Think of them as the beginning of an ongoing conversation. 

#5. Navigating Next Steps

Even with added supports, staying at home isn’t always the safest—or most comfortable—long-term option. However, relocating to a retirement community doesn’t mean losing independence. 

In fact, a continuing-care retirement community can actually improve your loved one’s independence by removing the daily challenges keeping them from enjoying life to their fullest potential. 

With built-in social connections, fewer household responsibilities, and compassionate caregivers nearby as needs change, retirement community living offers a balance of freedom and support. For many families, that balance brings real peace of mind now and in the future. 

Ready to Find a Retirement Community for Your Parent?

If you’re starting to wonder whether a retirement community could be the right next step for your loved one, Willow Brook is here to help. 

We’re here to answer your questions, talk through your family’s needs, and show you what life can look like in a compassionate, faith-led Columbus and Delaware, Ohio retirement community. There’s no pressure, just a caring conversation focused on what’s best for your loved one. 

Reach out today to schedule a private tour or connect with our team to get started. 

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